Alone

I think the biggest problem is the being alone. Its not lonlyness, its being able to defend yourself. Because being alone means your really suseptable to shit people. Its like people like me are under lock and key, and that opportunity never happens. That is opportunity with decent people. Theres plenty of shit opportunity. Anyway, i've had another shitty day and all I have is new memory implants of shitty people.

Its like i'm under lock and key, like the female side of me, or the person that I should be with. She is under a corporate lock and key. The prison being that she is made 'comfortable', and theres no reason to lower to my level, someone with no friends. The corporates all make it easy for her to visit them at the weekend like they were good freinds in their nice house. Life with me would be unbearable in comparison. Anyway, my point is that they are similarly controlling my opportunity. Everywhere I go I am constantly bombarded by shit people which stresses me out. Which means you cant act normally. But its a double whammy because I have no defence.

Today I have come home with the following shit memories:

Tramps in the street
Indians (I hate them)
Criminals (people that talk like shit in the pub)
Happy families (OMG They need so much space dont they and talk such shit.)
Low Life neibhours
Happy Couples
Ugly fat girls

To name but a few. And all I get to do is sit at home (for 15 years and forever) stewing on it.

The conclusion is that this is not a life. This is a living death. The sun is out and i'm alone and surrounded by retards, AGAIN, STILL, AS USUAL.

No one is going to call me. There will be no interuption to this nightmare.